March 16th, 2011 § 0 comments § permalink

pic by stevie chan


It is night like this that haunts me.

I’d be troubled by how swiftly my precious time ticks away, like an hourglass, barely able to trap a minute. Soon the minutes disappeared, the hours gone.

My thoughts remain the same.

bidding goodbyes

March 5th, 2011 § 0 comments § permalink

Sadly, this poem was inspired on the day my daughter shared difficult emotions in her adult world. The why’s and what’s.

As her mom, this modern que sera sera song i sang to her.

almost - lenscape of my mind

when love isn’t there anymore
you don’t just sit there waiting
hoping for
brings back the shine
when love isn’t there anymore
you don’t just sit there waiting
craving for
fills up the emptiness
when love isn’t there anymore
you don’t just sit there wailing
crying for
some miracles
any chance
mends the break

A Haruki Murakami

March 5th, 2011 § 0 comments § permalink

Hubby bought me many books and I haven’t gotten into an adrenaline mood to scour them for the longest time.

He so laughed at me whenever he teased me about my favourite authors, the likes of Paulo Coelho, Jeffery Archer etc.

Marrying Stevie, transported my literary world into a new shift. I have been introduced to writers that I have known afar but fairly acquainted in any exchange of words. The first book he bought me was Catcher In The Rye by J D Salinger, and he hasn’t stopped at that.

Since I am bedridden with a bad bout of body ache and phlegm; a dirty chance of an infection that leads to a bad flu. I didn’t want to over stress my body, reducing my body’s resistance, I relented when my doctor suggested I take leave from office.

This brightly coloured cover invited me to pick her up. Haruki Murakami book, entitled “South Of the Border, West of the Sun“. This would be my second Murakami book. Funny of all his titles, I actually started out with ” What I Talked About When I Talked About Running” . Odd that I was not introduced to his earlier writings and some of his more reputable works. I have been told, he is a great writer and every book is an encounter by it’s own.

I can relate completely with the story.

Highly introspective. I can see each character, sometimes as myself and many times the people who surrounded my intimate life. I comprehend the emotions of each character and to me, this is a believable story though fiction.

I see no point in me narrating such a well written piece. It is short and easy read, so hard to put it down as Murakami, the storyteller succeeded to coax me to finish this 250 odd pages in a single day. I cried a tear or two. No kidding. I am such a romantic.

In summary, the book enlighten me that all of us have memories. We just have to move forward in lives and be guided or haunted by them. How we deal with each relationship has to do with timing and the big word destiny.

A Synopsis:

“Hajime, a bar owner in Tokyo, recounts his life since his birth until the recent day he reunited with Shimamoto – his old sweetheart from elementary school, then a polio-stricken cripple. Frustrated at having been separated from her at an early age, he had been in multiple relationships broken by his own desires translated into selfishness. He seemed to finally find a stable married life with Yukiko, daughter of a rich industrialist, who gave him two daughters as well as dad’s backing to open a bar. But now, with Shimamoto standing before him, no longer a cripple but transformed into a raving, alluring beauty, he must face the choice of staying with his current life or throwing it all away to achieve his lifelong dream of real love from the only woman he could trust…

The book describes many moving parts, including growing pains, psychological limitations, parenthood, and most importantly, the importance of both romantic love and sexual relations in the man-woman relationship. I recommend it.”
Sergio Mendoza, Resident Scholar

love is not a bargain

June 8th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

love - lenscape of my mind

love is a present…..a gift of the heart

love is a presence…a gift of the soul

our wedding

January 12th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

our wedding - edward khoo


Marks the new beginning of my new chapter as Mrs. Chan.


January 6th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

pic by stevie chan


star gazing, sweet embraces

heart a-thumping, missing someone

perfect and so beautiful

like a firefly,

why it came and disappeared as quickly?

where has it gone, mommy…..she asked

I’d like to let her into my world, to see and feel what it is, but it doesn’t work that way.

She will know when love reappears again.

Explain we may not about love, but you know when it is there.

You can kid someone but you cannot pretend love.

just never give up,

search not or you will tire down

Love is love, you can feel it.

He is there.

You just know.

You know it’s there ….. when he loves you.

Love is beautiful and worth the wait dear……..
You know when it reappears again!

Love is love, you can feel it.

You just know.

You know it’s there …. when you are loved.

dawn of a new beginning

January 1st, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

i have had a swift 365

i braved many struggles and fears

i slumbered on the unhurried matters

i negotiated with my heart over and over

i detoured from an escapade to nowhere

i remained the same but different in grasp

i shall look forward yet, to another 365

may the new year be as kind as the last

romance is dead

December 27th, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

I am like hours away from a piece of Valentine Day press release dateline, totally uninspired.

Not a single word.

This is not good.

I am supposed to be selling the idea of how sexy lingerie helps spice up an escapade to the general crowd out there aspiring to be wooed and cooed.

Oh dear!

This is no good.

Stupid cupid, cherubs, angels, devils……whatever, where are you?

memories are made of these

December 22nd, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

it’s winter solstice today

i am like up 5am this morn

too early to make them, colourful rice balls

so I went back in time

scoured my yahoo blog archives

i will never forget these loving people

who filled my loneliness

with laughter and joy

thank you

Dec 26, ’08 1:13 AM

love my life,  yahoo blog

another 365 days

is almost over…..soon,

it’s Christmas

the present tense

December 18th, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

I had always yearned a Christmas tree, from young.

Never succeeded in arguing or seducing one from Alex, even in our early married days. He probably thought, I looked, the pretty enough tree.

Finally got one, 5 feet tall ornate with pine cones a few years back and I had been busy planning Christmas parties.

For me, Christmas is an expression of love.

In simple manners.

Till, someone like mom, messed it up.

Firstly, we will be arguing away on which day we should host the party. Secondly, what food to serve and lastly, the guests lists.

But….but…..but……excuse me mom?

I thought this is my party?

She has decided it shall be the 24th,
no cooking, and
who shall be invited.

Never mind that, at least I have 3 less things to dwell on.

But, I am really stressed out.

There is not a single wrapped up gift underneath my flaming white tree and Christmas party is like 7 days away!

I hate to disappoint the children.

I usually take pride in every single gift I bought for my loved ones.

But I am so out of time!

Stress not. Stress not.

Forget about pride, who needs it.

I want sanity.

I need a short cut.

A perfect cut!

Perfume for all ladies.
Boxer shorts for all men.
Chocolates for all children