shame on me

September 24th, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

what now?

another knock on my bedroom door….

who is it?


what now?

i gave a big sigh and shouted….what?

i had to creep out of bed reluctantly when he wanted the door open before he further engage in any conversation.


what now?


he said he thought my car braking timing is out.


he needed to step deep on to brake my car.


but dad, i told him that i have been driving my car for the last 2 years…….i understood how my brakes work


dad said i didn’t understand and i was courting danger.


he was not assured so i went down, in my pj’s……grabbed my keys and drove him around my neighbourhood.


either he is growing old or i am growing impatient.

what now?

i have to tell him that, he better be mindful that my car brakes work fine for me. i am accustomed.

i do not have to worry about my brakes but i just have to be careful whenever i drive his honda.

actually…..did he get it?

angie … i am sorry

September 24th, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

used to be a darling angel…

i meant …… me

i welcomed your chatty and predictable gestures

all the time


you knocked on my door just now

and i’d pretended to be asleep

shame on me

my best friends

September 20th, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

i found time to catch up a little with

my best friends at long river park…

HOME at last?

September 19th, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

Remember when we were much younger, playing board games?

It was all about HOME.

You are HOME. Saved.
When you reached 100 unscathed in the snakes and ladders.

You are HOME. Winner.
When you secured all four same colored pins on your base ground.

You are HOME. Master Builder.
When you tossed dice and moved pass jail, collected your 200 dollar bills over and again.


Now that I am much older, very, very much older….I realized I have never really been there.

Moving corporate ladders. Been moved up, been ousted.
Worn many colored pins, never a sergeant but closed ranks to lieutenant. Tossed dice, never been to jail nor collected

much dollar bills.

Was I heading for HOME?



Master Builder?

on turning 47

September 17th, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

2009 seems to be moving a little too fast as compared to previous.

I was told that when you are happy and living life, time cheats on you and tick a little faster.

I don’t mind the happy part, but I thought I just celebrated my 45 not too long ago.

And now they tell me, I am 47.

Whatever happened to my 46?

Oh yes, they consoled me that it is just a figure game. Not to be weighed down by it.

Can they tell me, as the figures get uglier, am I supposed to get prettier? LOL

I am alright with a few more grey strands that I could hide.

I am alright with a few more crow lines that I could possibly digitize too.

I thank for the presence of those who love me truly and deeply.

You made me look forward to aging wisely and happily with you around me.

I wish us to be around for my 48.

I Beg Your Pardon

September 15th, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

They always say,

“It is better late than never.”

True for many instances in life.

But many a time, late means late ……..

100 of lost moments,

each stalk for each longed kiss, embrace or touch,


So long, the yearnings.

They have subsided.

Been buried


I wanna bid loneliness goodbye!

i don’t like 2nd hand stuff

September 2nd, 2009 § 0 comments § permalink

growing up ……

i lived with 4 loved ones who smoke.

my 3 brothers and dad.

one day, i decided

if they didn’t quit

we should quit them

since then,

no one smokes in the house

or when they are around us

growing up ……

i dated non-smokers

i befriended non-smokers

i married a non-smoker

i axed my non-smoker husband

growing up …..

i am adjusting my principles

i am adjusting my tolerances

i am adjusting my nose

so i do not inhale 2nd hand smoke

that will deprive her 10 more loving years with me

growing up ………

adrienne is constantly reminding me

the harm of smoking

adrienne never quits

so when will you?